It is painful emotionally when you go out of your way to a strip mall in Alexandria for a piece of lemon meringue cake that you remember being nonpareil pre-pandemic and…
it isn’t as good as you remember it being.
And the pastry chef is there and she’s such a wonderful person, she’s very talented, you’ve been buying cake from her for years! and you make a big fuss about its so great to be back! and how you haven’t visited in so long! (because of Covid) and everything in the pastry case looks so good! …
It’s 11 a.m. on a Tuesday and I find oneself in Annandale, as one does, waiting to pick up a dog harness size small for a parti poodle puppy and one is early for the trade. What to do?
GET CAKE. Obvi. From Shilla Bakery. A slice of strawberry buttercream cake. The remaining one in the pasty case! What do you think this blog is? A news source?
JUMP ON IT. Cradle it in its clamshell to the car. Then, gentle reader, in with that take-out fourchette!
Not so fast.
This is a slice that is pretty to look at…
Sometimes a body needs a sheet cake to fête the graduates of this dubious year.
What was their taste in cake? I didn’t know. I didn’t have time to ask, to have them fill out the requisite personality and taste tests and Miller analogy tests required for excellent cake conciergery. (Cake conciergery is a new career path, people don’t understand it yet. BUT THEY WILL. OH, THEY WILL. I’m having a cap embroidered with CAKE CONCIERGE.)
I played it safe and got a chocolate sheet cake from the Duke Street Whole Foods. …
“There’s something really special about cake,” is a terribly boring quote when you could have something like “a party without cake is just a meeting,” by Julia Child. ZING. Two snaps and a slice of cake, baby.
The Lemon Mousse Cake from Heidelberg Pastry Shoppe is really special though.
You must be very humble braggety (and have great faith in your reader to read between the lines) to describe this cake, as the bakery’s website does, simply as, “yellow cake with lemon mousse.”
That’s like saying Pittsburgh is just a former steel belt city.
This Lemon Mousse Cake is Midwestern…
Anything that has for a back ramrod straight wooden dowels
Ditto curved wooden dowels
Anything at all that’s wood, honestly
Sorry, I don’t share your interest in 17th-century French settees I will simply sink to the floor while you tell me about them some more
Soft upholstery = I’m lost, literally swallowed up
Short people disappear into divans with alarming regularity and it is not even reported on
The many thick knobs on ergonomic chairs? Chaotic evil. Do they really ALL do something positive for you?
“Most people’s bodies are largely unsuited to extended periods in these structures”: reclaimed farm house chairs.
“In the centuries prior to western industrialization, stools or benches were common household furnishings, but chairs were special-occasion objects, usually the exclusive property of the wealthy and powerful” like the rattan papasan every college grad had from Pier One in the ‘90s
Is your compost hot…or not?
Or not, is my answer. My compost is cold, cold, cold, gentlethems, meaning I try to keep it under 80F. I muchly like to not do! To avoid work. To let nature take its course. I have spinal arthritis so pitchforking (as much as I have hearteyes for my pitchfork, Dear Helen) just isn’t my jam.
My kind of effort is a TikTok my daughter set up for me where all it is is me taking kitchen scraps to the compost to 90s big band swing revival classics.
The great thing about cold compost is…
cakes of Northern Virginia and then some